Single Girl Blues

Picture this:

It's a Friday night during fall semester of my senior year of college and I'm hanging out with Dani, my roommate/wombmate/best friend of four years. The two of us sit cross legged on the floor, gorging on Diet Coke and Dove Chocolate. It's roommate pow-wow time, because we've got a very serious, crucial and life changing issue to address:

BOYS.

There comes a time in every "single" college girls life in which all of her non-single friends get engaged at the same time. Really. It's like a stinkin' time bomb. At first, it appears to contain happy-celebratory-fun-times--but that's just the first wave…. That's just the tasty icing covering up the stale, bitter cake underneath for us single girls. The second wave is packed with the blasted, backhanded sting of singleness, and man does it sting.

Luckily, the two of us endured that month long period of engagements and relationship status updates (thank you, Facebook) together. But now was the time to get down to business and discuss some questions at hand that flow through every lonely girls mind:

• What is wrong with me?

• Am I only going to be an old maid with a prized possession of Russian nesting dolls and have that be my greatest achievement in life?

• Why are there only Amish boys who attend this college?

• Am I an Amazon lady and does that frighten men away?

• Why in the HECK hasn't Michael Bublé and/or Mr. Darcy proposed to me yet?

Legit questions, are they not? They left me feeling anxious, which was something quite new for me when it came to this topic. I'd never been the type of girl who fretted over not having a boyfriend; in fact, I have always been fairly content being single. It wasn't as though I wanted to be necessarily, but I was picky when it came down to the dude population (Fitzwilliam Darcy will cause a girl to be that way once she's encountered him, ahem). The idea of being with someone that I didn't actually like, but kept around just for the sake of having someone to dote upon me was ridiculous.

No way. I needed him. He was nice. He was perfect, and someday he would come waltzing into my life complete with a utility belt full of socially functional nerd-like qualities and wielding some kind of sweet musical instrument. Oh, and he'd be genuinely Catholic to boot. That's the way it would be. He'd also be Michael Bublé. Just because… you know... MICHAEL BUBLÉ.


And yet there I was, anxiously popping chocolate after chocolate into my mouth, completely unswept off my feet and totally prospect-less. The hybrid Michael Bublé-Fitzwilliam Darcy-confession-going-dude just didn't exist on my campus, or anywhere in my vicinity for that matter.

So where was he? Was it truly impossible to find a man with qualities in which I deemed important? Was I aiming too high? Did I need to set my standards a little lower? Was I going to be a cat lady and live off of condensed sweetened milk and canned tuna in the foreseeable future? Did I need to expand my hunk-of-burnin'-love-radar a bit?

Lightbulb.

At that moment I was struck by a thought I was half mortified to speak out loud. I had considered this option in the past, but it was more of a fleeting thought that was batted away by some weird mixture of rationality and horror. Dani, however, who basically knew everything about me having been my BFF/roommate-combo for four straight years, knew something was up as soon as the idea had made itself known. (She has a sixth sense for Libby-mind-reading. It's crazy.)

"What's that look for?"

"What? Oh… Well, I just had a really stupid thought. It's like… REALLY stupid."

"Were you thinking about online dating?"

"….What the heck ARE you Dani? …YES."

She's a mind wizard, is what she is.

After our little exchange, much laughter ensued and more diet coke inhaling took place. We both shook our heads, sighed, and said we'd never follow through with it. Online dating was something we'd never take seriously. We were the girls, after all! The ladies! That damsels who needed to be pursued, not the pursuers themselves! Wasn't that how it was supposed to work? Isn't that how it's ALWAYS supposed to work?

…But our pursuers had no idea where to find us. We had locked ourselves away, i.e. picked a college that turned out to be a dud byway of the male species. Neither one of us had any idea where we'd meet men our age and our outlook didn't appear to be sunny as we were six months away from graduation. We weren't bar goers, and truth be told, we'd hardly look to meet men there anyway, and the thought of going back home and finding someone there was pretty much the funniest joke in the world. It wasn't going to happen.


"What if we just looked?" I asked Dani. "We don't have to do anything with it, we can, you know… just see what's out there."

"…Okay. It's not like we have anything to lose." said Dani. "But let's not tell anyone about this. EVER."

"Don't you worry, girl-fraaan. I'd rather die."

"What site should we use?"

"Hmm," I pretended to think. "I don't really know."

But I did know. I'd already seen a few advertisements in my churches bulletin and taunting ads on the side of my Facebook profile for quite sometime now. Dani said that she was going to jump into the shower while I "did some research on what site would be best".

Catholic Match it was.

An Introduction of Sorts

There are people in the world who are disgustingly happy, my dear Watson. You know them. You've met them. Perhaps you've even thought to yourself, "whoa… that person needs to calm it down before someone loses their leg…" They're the kind of people who seem as though all they do for a living is slide down rainbows and tend after lush meadows full of butterflies and woodland creatures. They're the people who are one dangerous moment away from unleashing their inner broadway musical number in the canned foods aisle as they walk in time to the supermarket-y music playing overhead. They're also the people known for staring and smirking at orange juice cartons in the morning, because miraculously, that carton of liquid vitamin C is the portal between reality and daydream land, and is therefore the greatest piece of cardboard to ever exist in the free world.

Ahem.

Hi. My name is Libby, and I am a professional rainbow slider. I'm a few notes and a shuffle-ball-change away from my supermarket-Broadway debut, and orange juice may very well be the nectar of life. 

I'm disgustingly, delightfully, deliciously happy, and I've gotta tell you why; otherwise, I'm gonna resort to hijacking the comfy story time chair at the library and well, I'd like to stay in good standing with them for as long as I can. I'm a book lover, y'see, and this story's one for the books. Literally. The best part about it is that it's nowhere close to being finished, in fact, more is being added to it right now as I type.

Like many stories containing females who sing nonsensical melodies to scampering squirrels as they skip out to their unicor--er... Volkswagen Beetle on their way to work, mine revolves around, begins with, and will finish entirely in love. It's a love that changed my ordinary, tolerable disposition into one that perpetually radiates golden sunshine. Ironically enough, it all started with a man from a very golden, sunshiny state in the US: California.

"But Libby! You live in Ohio! How did this ever come to be?" you say as you dramatically press the back of your hand to your forehead whilst looking into the sunset.

"Fear not, my reader! For it is my intention to enlighten thee and make it known byway of the blogosphere!" is my reply. (Cue epic John Williams music. Cue jazz hands.)

In reality, there truly is much to be said about this man and my adventures with him, and 2012 is looking to be monumental for the two of us. This here blog of mine is going to help me chronicle what's to come and what's been said and done already. There's A LOT to be said, and oh boy, it'll be said. Blame the writer in me, she can't help it. Blame those stinking rainbow slides as well. They're pretty!


Stay tuned, friend. There's so much to come.

The Beginning: In the Form of 7 Quick Takes

--- 1 ---

I've jumped on the bandwagon. Reading blogs has been a not-so-secret hobby of mine for quite awhile now, and I've even created a few them in attempts to give this whole writing thing a go. One would think that with a degree in Creative Writing, it wouldn't be that hard, right? Well, I may have a degree saying I've studied my brains out, pouring over literature like a fiend and scribbling story ideas in between notes in my Anthropology class--and I do have quite a fantastical imagination, but... I'm also a master at procrastination. Like, Jedi Master. It's serious. All that being said, though, I've decided not to let that get in my way. I will no longer use that as an excuse! One of my sister's, whom I'm most certain you'll hear a lot about in posts to come (along with the other members of my family) said something to me last weekend that completely rattled my cage; however, that topic will be saved for its own post.  For now, I'll steal this brilliant idea of a post from Conversion Diary, (an incredibly awesome and talented Catholic blogger) and write about seven random things pertaining to me...or something of the sort.

--- 2 ---

I'm SO incredibly geeky. You'll have to bear with me on this one, as geekiness just seeps through every part of me. I like to say that I'm passionate about a lot of things, you know? I'm enthusiastic about life and the wonders of the imagination! Okay, okay... that's the nice way of putting it. In all honesty, I am "one of those" Harry Potter fans, I've already pre-ordered the new Legend of Zelda game that comes out in November, and I may or may not be going to a sock hop tomorrow with my best friends. Geek much? Well heck yes.

--- 3 ---

I'm an aunt and that makes me cool. At least, that's the only kind of cool that I want to be! I have six nephews (literally had to count how many by going through their names from oldest to youngest) and two nieces and I absolutely adore each and everyone of them. Times a billion. They're growing up now (okay, they're not ancient or anything, they're just mostly not baby's), meaning instead of playing puzzles with them on a babysitting evening, I'm going to football/baseball/insert-random-ball-playing-sport-here games all the time. Entirely bittersweet, my friends, entirely. *proud aunt sniffle*

--- 4 ---

I'm a catechist! This will be my second year teaching Confirmation at the parish in my small town, and let me tell you, I've got some pretty awesome eighth graders on my hands this year. My time spent as a catechist has been both challenging and immensely rewarding. It has helped me to realize that one never truly stops growing in their faith. Such an incredibly exciting concept, being amazed daily by the beauty of God's majesty, and having the opportunity to share that realization with others--especially youth!

--- 5 ---

I am currently on a *insert growling stomach noise here* diet. Random side note, and definitely not relevant to anything important. Perhaps I will make this a theme for take number five. Also, while we're on the subject of randomness, something just fell off of my desk, causing me to jump a mile out of my chair. I do not appreciate you, sporadic-falling-object. Not at all.

--- 6 ---

I applied for a position at a Library today. I'll save the "woe is me, the job market stinks and my student loans are super scary" sob story, because, to say the least, it's no secret. Despite all of that, I'm really pumped about this opportunity! I work at two places in my small, rinky-dink Ohioan town (that I love), and while I'm very thankful to have them, I'm ready to start making advances in my field of study. Prayers requested. :)

--- 7 ---

I'm posting this on Saturday. Technically. I started this post about two hours ago (11:30 pm), but got distracted by this song and found myself rifling through cd's of days of yore. N'Sync, anyone? Cleopatra? Mandy Moore's first album? No? Hmm. Anyways, yes... I got sidetracked. I've pushed through, though! I've successfully made it through my first "7 Takes". Tadaa! :D

Here we go, Blog Galaxy. Hope you're ready for me!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!